Your Spiritual Adventure: Three Stages of Growing with God!

Have you ever thought about how we grow and change—not just in our bodies, but in our hearts and spirits too?

It’s like we’re on an amazing adventure, and there are different parts to the journey. A very wise person named Saint Silouan, and his nephew Father Nikolai, taught about three main stages of growing closer to God.

Let’s explore them and see what we can learn.

Stage 1: The “Honeymoon” – Feeling God’s Love Up Close

Imagine you’ve just started something new and exciting—maybe a new hobby, a new friendship, or a trip to a fun place. Everything feels wonderful, easy, and full of joy.

This is a lot like the first stage of the spiritual journey.

When you first connect with God, or when you experience a special moment in your faith, it can feel like a “honeymoon.” You may feel very close to God. Prayer feels easy. Inspiration flows naturally.

Scripture tells us that God draws us near, and this stage is often when we experience that closeness most clearly. It’s a beautiful beginning—full of hope and grace.

However, Father Nikolai explained that this stage is also somewhat unstable. It’s like being a spiritual teenager—you’re excited, but you haven’t yet learned how to carry and steward all that grace.

This is a time when God begins doing important initial work in the heart, preparing you for deeper growth.

Stage 2: The “Wilderness” – Growing Stronger When Things Get Tough

After the honeymoon stage, the journey can become much harder.

Think about Moses and the Israelites wandering in the wilderness after leaving Egypt. It was a long and difficult period, and they often felt as though God had abandoned them.

This second stage of the spiritual life can feel similar.

In this “wilderness” stage, God may seem to withdraw the easy-to-feel sense of His presence. Prayer becomes difficult. The heart may feel dry. You may even begin to question the powerful experiences you had earlier.

But this does not mean God has left.

In reality, He remains present and attentive.

This stage is crucial because it allows a person to grow spiritually in freedom. Instead of loving God simply because it feels good, we learn to choose Him deliberately, even when it is difficult.

The wilderness purifies the heart. It helps us move beyond self-centered spirituality and learn genuine trust.

In many ways, this stage is like a spiritual arena where faith becomes stronger and more mature.

Stage 3: The “Promised Land” – A Deep and Lasting Connection

Those who persevere through the wilderness eventually arrive somewhere beautiful.

This stage is like entering the Promised Land.

Here the soul gains a mature and stable understanding of God. Faith becomes deeper and steadier. Love for God becomes rooted and enduring.

This stage reflects the Christian goal known as Theosis—the process of becoming more and more united with God and transformed by His grace.

Instead of relying on emotional highs, the soul now lives in a deep peace, clarity, and freedom in God’s love.

An Important Thing to Remember

Father Nikolai taught that these stages do not usually happen only once in a person’s life.

Instead, they often occur in smaller cycles.

You may experience:

• a small “honeymoon”
• followed by a small “wilderness”
• and then a new “promised land”

These cycles repeat throughout life, and each time they deepen our faith and understanding.

The Journey Continues

Wherever you are in your spiritual adventure, remember this:

God is with you.

Even the difficult seasons are often opportunities for profound growth. The wilderness is not a sign of failure—it is often where the deepest transformation takes place.

Through every stage, God is shaping you into the person He created you to become.